Concerns for the future

Posted on December 6th, 1997 in Otherways Magazine, Problems

My elder son is approaching high school age. Many friends who have come to accept that home-schooling is okay for primary, are now questioning our plans for secondary school. It’s been a dilemma for us too, but recently something has happened which has cemented our commitment to long-term home schooling.

My twelve year old, Ben, who has coped wonderfully well with primary school maths, has suddenly jacked up on me. “I hate maths!” So I decided: “No more maths for the rest of this year.” For me, that was a very difficult decision … almost traumatic! But I don’t want him to hate maths. With a bit of space, maybe we’ll come up with a better approach that will cultivate a love for the subject.

Since Ben has always had a passion for computers, we found him a computer teacher who is showing him the basics of computer programming. He has been doing this for a few months now. He spends hours a day at the computer, most of it self-motivated work. His teacher is amazed at what Ben has done on his own initiative, with the newly acquired knowledge. He is up to creating his fifth computer game, (in three months) which he delights in testing out on Josh and his friends.

Our Experiences with an Alternative School

Posted on December 6th, 1997 in Otherways Magazine

You may know that we have been involved in a local alternative school since the beginning of 1996. It opened this year. There is a lot of hard work in setting up a school and it takes a lot of dedication to see it through, not just the bureaucratic tangles but the teething problems as well.

I only had a small part in the work that had to be done. I liked being with the people but only wanted to be on the fringes of the school itself. Our aim was for our children to go along on a part-time basis for the social contact and to take part in group activities. Tt never did happen exactly the way I had envisaged; I suppose nothing ever does. Maybe it works in some schools but it seems now that it was naive to believe our children could go along to the school, but not be a formal part of it. Home education and schools, even alternative ones, have different approaches - one is family centred and informal and control of the children’s experiences rests with the family; the other, because it deals with the public and at least several families, needs a structure to deal with every contingency and takes on much of the family’s role and formalises it.

As things evolved I realised I might have to choose between home education and alternative schooling. This struck at my very sense of identity. For over 20 years I have been planning to or been involved in home education. To suddenly hand over much of the management of our children’s moral, social and intellectual growth to others was unthinkable. Do I hear you say I need firstly to think of the children and what’s best for them? I did and that is why we persevered with the school.

Doubt is part of the journey

Posted on December 6th, 1997 in Otherways Magazine, Problems

Today my ten year old son made me proud. Not because he and his team had made it to the basketball grand final but because he acted in a way that showed he had character.

When we entered the stadium, all the grand-final-hype was obvious, with streamers and screamers filling the air. Here and there, mascots paraded while banners called for victory. As we approached our team I noticed increasing number of children with their hair sprayed in the club colours.

Next I heard a parent call out: “Johanna, Josh won’t have his hair sprayed!” My son stood beside her, grinning widely but sticking firmly to his decision. As other members of his team approached, one by one they yielded to the hair job. When the game went into action, I noticed Josh was the only player whose hair defied the bright colours. I began to have doubts. I suppose I could have used my motherly influence, “Oh, go on Josh, get into the spirit!” but I had decided to make no comment. Why? Because I respected his stand. No matter how other people interpreted him, I knew he was simply being himself. Besides, it wasn’t my place to put more pressure on him before the game.