Homeschooling dads are often seen as the silent partners in the Home Education scene. For some families it is the mother who investigates homeschooling and then has to convince her husband that it is a good idea. Whilst home-schooling mothers are more prevalent, there are full-time home schooling dads as well. Even where fathers are in full-time employment, their role in the homeschooling family is important. Here are some of their opinions.
You Want to What!!!
by Keith Kat, Box Hill South, Victoria
“YOU WANT TO WHAT!?” these were my first words when my wife Brigitte said we should try home schooling.
Up to this point my son Charlie, who was then five, was in a small program run by The Khuti Foundation (provided by GITA Yoga International), when they offered to help us with home schooling.
Home schooling? Us! ME!! I tell you, I was scared,…and nervous. Very nervous! We compromised by sending Charlie to a small private school.
“Now,” I thought, “this school will be the perfect compromise.” Small class size. Excellent teacher. Lots of ‘hands on’ activities. In other words, just what you would want from a school.
But somehow, Charlie didn’t seem to see it the same way. In the last three weeks before we withdrew him from school, he cried every day before going to school. Every day!! Took me a while to catch on, didn’t it?
Finally Brigitte said enough was enough. But I couldn’t bring myself to agree. We looked at other schools, most involving driving two hours every day, in peak hour traffic of one sort or another, before we came to a decision.
“Let’s try homeschooling for a term and see how it goes.” Oh boy! The feelings that came dancing across my mind were plenty. Anger was a big one. Anger! I can’t believe it now that I’m writing it. But anger was a biggie. My son needed an education! How was he going to get one being homeschooled? ! WHO was going to teach him? What about his maths!…his reading!!…his writing!!!
Being scared to confront something new and unknown was also a major player. What if I failed? What if he didn’t like it? What if…? The list was endless.
Anyway, I can see it’s the best thing we have ever done. We have blossomed as a family and have become relaxed and happy.
And Charlie? Last year we bought a small farm in South Gippsland and then a couple of alpacas to grace the paddocks. Grace is hardly the word. Sometimes it took us 10 minutes just to find them! Anyway, writing and reading, and to a lesser degree maths, were not going quite to the plan we envisaged when we suggested that Charlie do a project on alpacas.
Since November last year he has been studying them, their fleece, conformation, breeding, crimp, shearing etc. He has been reading books, magazines, using the internet, talking to people in the industry, making notes, and going to shows. Meanwhile, our herd has grown.
Charlie decided to make a 5 year Business Plan as part of his project. He has done so and thinks we’ll be making $100,000 in five years time!!! (We’ll see)
And me? Homeschooling is an education, not just for children, but for parents too. To confront my inner fears, the What Ifs…, and all those other rebellious thoughts which live in the closets of my mind has given me another perspective on life, more confidence to tackle the unknown. (But not too much).
Don’t believe it’s all honey and roses. We have our problems, but we enjoy working them out as a family and we are all learning the home education way. See, I don’t even need to use the word ’school’ anymore.
Home schooling for Dads
By Brian Walters, Eaglemont, Victoria
Children are the great teachers of their parents. Just when we think we know it all, along come the kids.
And so it’s been with our children - constantly seeing the world in a new way, constantly challenging our complacency, constantly making us look at fresh questions. I’m not sure whether I’m receiving more education or our girls are.
One of the things I have always enjoyed doing with our girls - whether they are at school or not - is reading to them in the evenings. Not having a television has made this possible. There have been all sorts of books - fantasy from Tolkien and CS Lewis, good children’s literature like the Elizabeth Honey books, historical books about subjects like Ned Kelly, Burke and Wills, and Ernest Shackleton, and we are currently reading Tim Flannery’s The Future Eaters.
Sometimes I am heard in silence. But often there are wonderful and unexpected questions. Questions which make me see a subject in a new way. And we all grow.
I love sharing classical music with our girls. Taking the time to listen attentively to wonderful works has its special rewards. Chatting about composers, what they were expressing, and going to concerts has all been wonderful to share. I do not think this would be easy to do if their evenings were filled with homework. As it is, they have a good working knowledge of the classical genre, and this is a good framework for future enjoyment.
There are many things we can readily do mid-week which would be a hassle if school were involved. They have come down to Tasmania when I have been there for work, and we have headed off for mid-week hikes. They have stayed with their grandmother by the beach in Phillip Island, and can take the opportunity for mid-week surfing lessons without the crowds.
There are some subjects we as parents don’t know a lot about. We have someone come in and teach our girls maths - an experience they seem to enjoy.
To socialise, our girls have a range of activities with their peers in after school hours, especially ballet and gym. And of course there is the home schooling group which they meet with each week.
When other children are at school, our children can mix in the adult world in a way that is not available to children being minded at school each day. I was on a television panel a few months ago, and the girls came along and sat in the audience and saw the whole event. They learned more from that than they would have from a day at school.
My parents are elderly. They are a delight to be with, but the time when they best function is in the morning. Our girls have seen the process of their growing old, and their increasing dependence. The girls have performed on the piano (mid morning on a week day) for the residents of the hostel where my parents live. If they had been at school, they would have missed a lot of this.
For me the great thing about home schooling is that the girls have more time - time for their own pursuits, time for mine, time to enjoy their childhood and savour it to the full extent. I can share in the evening with girls who are not exhausted after a hundred different demands in the day, but ready to respond and interact creatively. So there is more quality for me in being a father.
Whether children are being home educated or are at school, it is probably true that parents will have the greatest influence on their educational outcomes. Home schooling is a legitimate option which is working well for us.
There is no dichotomy between living and learning - all of life is an education. We are always learning, and our task as parents is to facilitate our children’s launch on that journey. And we learn in the process.
When Dad Homeschools: From Breadwinning to Baking
By Jim Dunn. Reprinted with permission from Home Education Magazine May-June 1998
And What Does Your Husband Do?
By Isabel Shaw. Reprinted with permission from Home Education Magazine
